Where One Door Closes… #FlashFiction #WritingCommunity


Suzanne Burke chose this interesting photo prompt for her Fiction in a Flash Challenge. Hop over, check out the entries, and join in here.

Where One Door Closes…

Hank straightened his tie and used the back of his pant legs to polish worn shoes, balancing like a flamingo in front of the dark wood door. Nervous perspiration coated his forehead and under arms covered in the only suit he owned– a heavy gray woolen affair he’d picked up for a steal when his father passed away two years ago.

His father.

It was because of the old man he was in this position. The letter from the lawyer was explicit; if he wanted to inherit (and Lord knows, he did) he had to show up to this interview and make a good impression, or the entire estate would go to his father’s favorite charity- cat rescue.

Fine. He could hop to his dad’s tune one last time; especially if it meant he’d have the last laugh. Five long years since he’d been banished from home. Five miserable, hungry, destitute years. When he got the money, the first thing he was going to do is eat the biggest steak he could buy. Hell, he might even buy a round for the house. That would get the old man’s knickers in a knot- wherever he was.

Filled with renewed determination, Hank lifted his hand to knock, vaguely surprised by the heat he could feel on the door. Number thirteen, Triskaidekaphobia. Trust his father to test his superstitious beliefs. Maybe this was all some sick game concocted by a mean-minded egomaniac determined to make his only son tow the line. It would be just like him.

Hank lowered his fist and began to turn away, his shoulders dejected, when the door swung open, revealing a black maw beyond.

“H… hello?” he called, his voice quivering though he tried to overcome his fear. “W… who’s there?”

The hinges creaked under the force of his hand, the shadows lengthening out to encompass his legs. Frightened, but curious, he pushed his way into the dark room. The air was stagnant and held the scent of incense- or was that kerosene? Either way, it made his head swim.

The door closed with a decisive snap, enshrouding him in the tomb-like atmosphere. A lamp flickered to life on a wide oak desk situated in the middle of the room. A man with benevolent features gestured for Hank to take a seat.

Left with little choice, he did as directed, perching on the edge of the hard chair. “Now what?” he demanded, angry at whatever sick game his father had arranged for him today.

The stranger raised a snow-white brow and pushed two sets of papers across the broad expanse of the desk. Next, he laid a gold pen within Hank’s reach. “Choose carefully,” he said, and sat back, fingers steepled under his chin.

Ready to walk out and forget the whole thing, Hank nevertheless picked up the first sheaf of papers and began to read. It was a journal of his life; an itemized list from birth to the day he left home- all the embarrassing tantrums, name-calling, stealing- it was all there.

Unable to keep reading, he set down the first set of papers and picked up the next. This one was also a journal, but more of a fantasy interpretation. It portrayed him as a sweet and generous child, smart, kind, well-liked. The opposite of how he’d been- truth beknown.

“Fine, I’ve read this crap. What do you want from me?” He threw the papers down and glared defiantly at the old man facing him.

The stranger shrugged. “It’s up to you. Choose the life you believe you’ve led, and sign. One will grant you eternal riches, and the other… won’t.”

Hank swore softly under his breath. Trust the old man to throw one last hurdle at him from the grave. Question was; which story would give him what he wanted?

Picking up the fine gold pen, he hesitated over one, then the other, before finally slashing his name across the page and shoving the whole works across the desk. “There, you have your signature. Where’s my money?”

The old man glanced at the papers and smiled, delight turning his dark eyes into flames. “If you’re sure that’s your answer, your quest begins on the other side of the door behind you.”

Hank rose and stared at the door he’d come through. What was this? There’d been nothing but a long dark hallway leading to this room. Certainly, no one waiting to bequeath him his money. Whipping around, he opened his mouth to complain, but the desk and old man had vanished!

The hairs rose on his nape, sending shivers scuttling down his back. He wished now he’d never heard from his dad’s lawyer. Never given in to the temptation of an easier life. Maybe, he’d give some of the money to help those like himself, guys down on their luck. Yeah, that’s what he would do.

Feeling better already, Hank strode across the room and swung the door open, only to fall back in shock. “Fa… father?” he whispered.

His dad held out his hands, his body backlit with flames. “Come, son, you’re one of us now.”

The choices we make in life
are ones that will follow
in death.
So, choose wisely, my friend,
that you will see Heaven
instead of Hell.

It’s Not Too Late!

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36 Comments

  1. I love this story, Jacquie! And a great spin at the end 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Harmony!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Staci Troilo says:

    That was AWESOME! I loved it! My favorite kind of story. Great job, Jacquie!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s one door I’m sure Hank was sorry he opened 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Fantastic story, Jacquie! I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jill- appreciate the support ❤

      Like

  4. Mae Clair says:

    WHOA!!!!! You outdid yourself with this one, Jacquie. Standing ovation and thunderous applause. Take a bow, my friend. This was brilliant.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’d planned to do a sweet romance, but this popped out, lol

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Teri Polen says:

    Bet Hank was reeeaallly wishing for a do-over with his life right about then. This was awesome, Jacquie!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol, I’m sure he was 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Pink Roses says:

    Marvellous! Thanks for that, Jacquie.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Elizabeth!

      Like

  7. Jan Sikes says:

    Wow! Eerily great, Jacquie! And I love the open-ended question. A wonderful response to the prompt!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Poor Hank waited a bit late to change his life around 🙂

      Like

  8. Gwen M. Plano says:

    What a great story and exquisite writing, Jacquie! I love how you built the suspense and then threw in the twist. This is an amazing story! ✨✨✨✨✨

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wish I was better with the poetry, but I’m trying 🙂

      Like

  9. balroop2013 says:

    Wow! I love the ending! Your style is what pulls the readers Jacquie… not a dull moment. Brilliantly written.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much!

      Like

  10. D.L. Finn, Author says:

    Fantastic story, Jacquie:) That was a twist I didn’t expect and a choice he shouldn’t have made.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hank had multiple chances to mend his ways- sometimes, the devil is in the details (literally! lol)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. D.L. Finn, Author says:

        Lol

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Soooz says:

    Loved this twisted take on the prompt, Jacquie! Thanks for joining in again. I’ve scheduled this to go up on my blog a little later today. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Soooz- love these prompts!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Soooz says:

        The enjoyment shines through with your entries, Jacquie. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Sylvie Grayson says:

    Convoluted and impactful, all in a few words. Isn’t that great?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol, my trademark writing style- convoluted 🙂

      Like

  13. petespringerauthor says:

    After reading your piece, the first thing that came to mind was The Cat’s in the Cradle by Harry Chapin. “He’d grown up just like me. My boy was just like me.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I haven’t heard that in so long- great song!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I read this on Suzanne’s blog, Jacquie. A very good tale.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Robbie!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. markbierman says:

    I’ve read this one, but I like it even better the second time. Well done, Jacquie. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! That’s so kind ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I love the dialogue and the captivating setting. A perfect script and a hard-to-challenge composition.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. These flash fiction challenges sure get the old brain working, lol

      Liked by 1 person

      1. …And they also beautify thoughts. Have a good week Jacquie!🌺🕊

        Liked by 1 person

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